Wow this last month and a half has flown by. I went from Lupron to Letrozole and when Letrozole left me whimpering (literally) on the ground at a social get-together, I was switched to Danazole. I went through a few weeks trying to find a couple interested in me being their surrogate and ended up with more pain and no answers. My next appointment is in a week to set a date for surgery. We are talking about taking out one ovary and the uterus, but will most likely just take everything all at once. I have been sure of this decision because of my pain level, but the Danazole does seem to be reducing it for most of the time and when I am not in pain I second guess my decision. I cannot live in this pain: I fail out of classes, can't work efficiently, I am just emotionally unstable. I should accept this as my fate and embrace the notion that I have a treatable condition.
On a brighter note, I love my job and have been promoted to a tech position. In my state, there are few laws regulating what a vet assistant can do (versus a licensed vet tech). I get to be one on one with our vet through out the day and I love it. I have more responsibility and a greater chance to understand procedures and explain them to the pet parents. I get to teach owners how to understand their pets needs, which promotes better care ultimately happier pets. I love leaving the office knowing that I improved a pet's life. I have to get my grades up so I can get into vet school. I have to be able to move on with my life.
It has been a rough day emotionally. My mom is in the hospital with liver problems, I am in more pain than usual, and I screwed up another relationship that was going so close to perfect.
I have decided that some things just need to be kept quiet, I just dont know what those things are yet, clearly. I feel like a new person, with out any previous knowledge of how to communicate with another person. I really think I should just stick with my animals. I understand them and they understand me.
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